Friday, April 16, 2010

I find it hard to socialise with people because I am quiet. Is anyone else like this?

I do not like to go to a lot of work functions because I am there to work not socialise and find it hard to get on well with people.


Some work places I like to socialise because I find people friendly and approachable and down to earth, but the new jobs I have been in I find people more arrogant and in little cliques.





The young women in the office are so outgoing that they are almost stupid, I find. I am not against what they do but they seem so immature but the funny thing is they get on well with everybody.





The managers seem to be so far up their asses and stuck up and do not take anyone seriously.





I am nice and polite to others but certain types of people I just do not get on well with.

I find it hard to socialise with people because I am quiet. Is anyone else like this?
When did you start working in my office?? Yes, I know how you feel. The best advice is to realise that each person is a separate entity with their own background, belief system, ect. You need to be true to yourself and how you feel and let other peoples opinions slide off your back as irelevant to you. They dont own the truth although they often act as if they do, its just their opinion, if they are average there may be enough of them to form a clique. Be yourself and chat a little to make contact with different people if you feel like it - but always be true to how you see things and feel dont let them weigh you down with the negative way they see things.
Reply:I was like that when I got to my first base. Had a hard time fitting in with different clicks and different groups. I didn't socalize or hang out with anyone for the first few months I was there. When I moved to my second base (2 1/2 years later), I just sorta put myself out there, and hung out with co-workers at different social functions after work.





A lot of people are also a different animal when they're away from work. Including managers with sticks up their asses. My advice is to just put yourself out there, show people what you're about, and see how they respond.
Reply:i can talk to people one on one but for some reason i absolutly hate a room full of talking people and i dont know why...
Reply:Believe it or not, I am like you. I will avoid the avoidables and bite the bullet for the unavoidables.
Reply:im sorry, but for starters.....u spell "socialise" wrong. its "socialize". next, no, infact im the exact oppisite. im very outgoing, but like you, i try to be most helpful to people and be nice. if you really want to socialize, dont be so quiet. let people hear what u gotta say.
Reply:no
Reply:I'm the opposite...but...





A shy girlfriend of mine told me, that in your situation...you need to become an expert at nodding, smiling, and mildly chuckling at everything in any social situation, and try not to let the other people see the total disdain and loathing you feel for them in your eyes...





Just nod, and have an "eye gleam" reminiscent of "The Stepford Wives," and try not to harm anyone...





I'm actually a professional socialite, class clown, non-annoying life of the party...and...





That's what I do...





El Oh Elski...
Reply:it will all hit em' in their asses when you decide to move, and then they'll say, "NO! WE NEED YOU!!"
Reply:Yea. We're passive people. We aren't "stupid" and not outgoing, its just that we have preferred environments. I have a teacher who i HATE to talk. It almost seems like he's totally nervous when hes talking to me and he cant wait to go to a bathroom and pleasure himself. I think you're gonna have to loosen up, a lot of the people at my work place are cocks, but soon you adapt and get used to them. What was it like in your last college or high school class?
Reply:I'm pretty sure the answer is YES!


Don't worry you are not alone on this one, you do have lots of partners and you all need to get out of your nutshells :-D , socialise and make friends with others and you'll be happy :)
Reply:I have a similar problem. I'm quiet and get along with select people. I don't like games and dishonesty. I tend to like people that are straight forward. However, I would say within reason. I get along with most people though because I'm nice. I'm at work to get my job done. I keep socializing to a minimum but it's because I'm nice and will continue talking longer than I should. In business, to move up, you have to learn to play the game so I think both of us will need to be more adaptable to different people.


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